2025 Updates

 2025 

Yeah!! I was finally able to find a condo that I could afford and purchased it mid 2024.  I'm so proud of my persistence and patience.  I never thought I, on my income, could afford a place to own.

It has almost everything on my wish list; the only major thing it doesn't have is an in-unit washer and dryer.

It does have 2br/2bh and a huge living room, a huge master bedroom with an en-suite bathroom.  Huge walk-in closets and a screened-in back porch (lanai).

The big downsides are not having a w/d and the HOA rules and drama, and not having a yard.  I chose the second floor due to living in a Hurricane area and being able to keep my windows open.

As I've said, I have animals, two dogs and two cats.  It is a no-pet community, thankfully, I was able to get emotional support animal letters.  The drama of having animals here is crazy.  There are so many entitled people here who just can't seem to get that having an ESA is a legal right; there is nothing they can legally do about it.  It has been many a topic in the HOA meetings, and being a very sensitive person, I take it all to heart.

I did try to have a tenant for about a year, but it did not work out for me.  Due to my independence, strong will, and being a sensitive person, I could not handle living with another person.  It did not help that the person was very depressed, negative, and could not pay rent on time.  But, I do have to say I LOVE living with just my animals.  The peace I have in my life now is so worth the drama I had living with another person.

She was just a roommate, renting a room, but I was very stressed and uncomfortable, always wondering when she would be home and what mood she would be in.  The extra money, when I got it, was helpful and I am still adjusting financially with it, but I know I can do it!!!!!

My Health and Aging

Yeah, I'm now 57.  On top of all the previous medical conditions that brings arthritis, sun spots, wrinkles, and greying hair.  Oh, the fun!

Everyone says that getting older sucks, but you don't truly understand what that means until you get there.

I had so many dreams and desires that I wanted to do with my life, but it got cut short due to my disabilities, and now I don't have a lot of time left, even if I could try all those things.

Age brings regrets.  DO BETTER!

One thing I am making sure I do is to keep moving.  If you stop moving, you stop living.  Mobility is key to getting older.  I don't want to be someone who is in a wheelchair or needs assistance walking.  I play games online to keep my noggin fresh and functioning.  I read and watch improvement shows.

What I don't do is keep up with politics, trends, or social norms.  I have better things to waste my time on.  Life is heartbreaking if you let it.

KEEP GOING!

Grumbling of a Person - DISABLED IN AMERICA

DISABLED IN AMERICA

I didn't choose to become disabled it was something that was done to me over time from numerous sinus surgeries that have caused me to not be able to work and earn my way in the world.

I hate it, I wonder who I would be, where I would be now if this hadn't happened to me.

Would I have been able to afford a home of my own?  Would I have gotten over myself enough to learn to date and possibly be married?  Would I be financially stable?  Would I have been able to finish my Bachelor's degree in college?  Would I have found my niche in the business world and been happy with my career?

I'm 55 years old.  I have nothing to show for it.  I cannot afford to purchase a dwelling of any kind on my SSDI.  I try to make other income but due to the fact I am always exhausted and always in pain it is very part-time work, not enough to make a difference.

I feel stuck.  Not only financially but emotionally.  My life was paused at about age 30 due to the issues that arose from multiple sinus surgeries.  I was trapped in place, unable to grow or move for over 20 years.  Stunted in life.

I am just now finding out what I should have back then.  Who I am, what kind of person I want to be.  I enjoy life as much as I possibly can.  Appreciating things for what they are.

Goles are not something I can strive for.  I have too many limitations, and I don't what the next crisis in my life is going to be.  It's ONLY ME!

Sure, I have siblings.  But, they have their own lives.  It's JUST ME at the end of the day.  I'm getting better with that.  But I do get concerned that I have pushed people and situations away from my life that would have enriched it due to being socially stunted.

I'm not miserable in life like I used to be.  It's taken years and years of therapy.  I guess not many people are entirely happy with how their life has gone.  I'm no different!  But it is my life and I wish it was a bit different.

MY WISHES:

To be able to afford a home with a fenced backyard so my dogs can be free to go outside whenever they need to.  I hate they are trapped in an apartment.

I wish I wasn't in an apartment, where I have to follow other people's rules.  Not being able to afford a place that is actually habitable, no issues.  

That is my American Dream!

It's not big but it is so out of reach for me.

MY GRUMBLES

I'm tired of being tired all the time.  I don't get quality sleep.  I have sleep apnea due to the changes in my sinuses that were made during surgery.  I cannot wear a Sleep Apnea machine, my sinuses cannot tolerate the air pressure.  So, I'm ALWAYS tired.  I get irritable easily, I don't like being irritable or angry.  It's not my nature.

I don't think that the people who decide how much each disabled person gets each month understand the cost of living.  I'm not talking about living the high life, just everyday expenses.

Toilet Paper or paper products

They are expensive and not covered under the paltry sum of $30 a month I get in food assistance.  

What about clothing, that's extra.  I just lost about 40 pounds.  I'm struggling between having clothes that fit and clothes that hang off of me.  It's a shirt one month or pants/shorts another month.  May have to skip a few months due to other bills:  utilities, food, the car needs to be repaired, or the dog needs to go to the vet.  It's check to check living.

A one-bedroom apartment under $1,300 a month.  No LONGER EXISTS!

I live in a warmer climate just because I want to, it's better for my health!!!  Cold climate wrecks me.

What if my car dies, I can't afford another one.  I think this may be the last car I own.  It's a 2012 with over 180,000 miles on it.  If that happens I can't do side work!

Knowing me, I will just not get out at all.  Right now all I can afford is to go to the grocery store and do my dog walking/watching jobs.

Not that I really want to, but my siblings want me to visit them in a different state.  I can't afford that.  Hotel, plane, gas if I drive, dog expenses (dog sitter). other expenses from traveling.  

If they want me to visit they will have to pay for my visit.  I'm done catering to other people's wants of me.  That is one of the reasons I moved away.  To get away from their expectations.   I'm finally free to be me and do what I want!  It's very liberating.  It only took 50 years of my life to get here!

DOCTORS?????

I still don't understand why the doctors who did this to me get to live their lives with no repercussions.  What I have is not recognized or acknowledged but a lot of doctors in that field.  All of my issues are "not" related to what happened to me...really?  It took over 20 years for me to get diagnosed, what I have is relatively new to be recognized.  It's so new that doctors don't quite grasp the scope of the pain and suffering I have gone through.  The wages that I have lost from not being able to work all these years!  The anguish I have personally gone through listening to them.  The medications I have tried over the years from being misdiagnosed and not understanding why the medications didn't work.  The side effects of some of the medications.  

Every time I have a new doctor they want to "reinvent the wheel" and re-try everything I have already tried.  Start all a new and therefore I am not getting treated for what I already have, not progressing in my treatment because of it.  Ruining my health even more.  Relatively I don't have time on my side, I'm at the other end of my life, there is not much time left and I don't want to live this way if there is a medical way to treat what I do have!

That is just tonight's rumblings and why I am not asleep at midnight.  Sigh

 

"You do you," but with Confidence and Style.

The Real Meaning Of "You Do You"

This popular phrase should mean more than it does.

You do you within reason. People in our generation need to understand that, yes, doing something without the fear of judgment is so freeing, but at the same time they need to think of who they really are. Just because you feel like you can do anything you want by living by this phrase, it does not mean you need to do anything and everything. Stay true to who you are and do it proudly. Express yourself in a way that you are confident in embracing things that projects who you really are without going overboard and becoming something, you are not.

Whenever someone, most likely a friend, says that they are going to do something because they want to, the typical response I have noticed is "you do you." Sometimes some people, including me, add in a "bro," "dude," or even "boo" at the end of it. It is kind of just encouraging another person to do what they want and to not care if anyone judges their decision, because they know what is best for themselves. Do not get me wrong, doing what you think is right for your sake is good, but people take this phrase overboard.

You do you with friends. Doing things, yourself can be good because everyone needs alone time and time to just reflect on life. However, this does not mean that you cannot do things without friends. Have the people who love and care for you join in on your adventures because they will make them 10 times better. They will support you since they should know the real you and what you love to do. They would love to join you in doing what you love to do because they love you and want to see you happy.

You do you, but not because our society says so. Most people have taken this as following what everyone else is doing even though it is supposed to mean to do the exact opposite. Since the phrase has become so popular within our society, everyone is now practicing it. I'm not saying stop being you; what I am saying is be you because you want to be you, not because our society has decided that it is cool to express yourself. Make the decision to show who you are because you want to and, in the words of the Biebs, because you love yourself.

You do you with love. Like I said, love yourself, but then once you get that far, spread that love. You do not want to keep all that love to yourself. Do things you love, and as you do this people will see that you love what you do, whether it is your occupation or hobby. The passion you show will provoke other people to pursue what they want to do. So, even though you are doing you, you are essentially helping others as well.

Social Life Impact | Migraine.com

Social Life Impact

By Dualdogs

Update, 2025

• 8

I came across an article on migraines and their impact on people’s social lives.

What I wish friends and family would understand

I see my siblings and friends going out socially, to work, or taking a vacation. Am I jealous? Yes, I am. But I am sincerely happy for them that they can so effortlessly do so without the worries I have.

For instance, currently, my sister is on vacation with her daughter and boyfriend. I talk to her and see her posts on where they went and so forth, so I see what she is doing. They are driving around to various places to sightsee.

I so wish I could do those things also. I can’t even think about going up to the state my brother and sister live in to visit them. It’s a two-day drive and the reason I would drive is so I can take my dog.

Home-bound

I’m on disability and work when I can, but I am mostly at home. Why? Various reasons.

Migraines/ENS Sinus Pain every day is the main one, one is that because I am on disability, I am on a fixed income, and really don’t have the extra money to travel. My dogs are very attached to me because I am home all the time, and I don’t think they would take being away from me very well.

A few weeks ago, I scratched my cornea and was unable to take him to the dog park or even really walk him (I could not see very well out of that eye, it was very light sensitive, so the house was closed up tight, and it worsened my migraines). I felt so bad for him, he’s only just 2 years old. Dogs don’t understand. (PS - It wasn't a scratched cornea, it turned out to be Sjögren's, and that is a lifelong condition.)

One of my dog park friends offered to take him for the day so he wouldn’t be sitting in the house with me all day. It lasted 2 hours, and he whined and wouldn’t settle or play with her dog the entire time. I had to go and pick him up. I really shouldn’t have been driving, but I felt terrible that she would have to have him until her neighbor came home because her husband was at work, and he had the car.

Migraine guilt

I feel guilty that I am upsetting the balance of others’ lives with my problems and issues. So, I drove to her house with an eye patch on, got pulled over by the cops because a brake light was out (I had no idea), was given a warning (thankfully), and was able to pick him up and get us both home safely.

I wasn’t able to drive for about 2 weeks afterward and had to have my food delivered, I had to get Lyfts to my eye doctor and had to put that on credit because I live disability check to check and now have a big balance I have to pay off when my eye does heal enough, I am comfortable enough to do my self-employment work. Thankfully, a neighbor was able to take my dog out a few times during the day to go potty.

The impact on my wallet

As it is, I used to make about $60-80 a good week, which pays for gas and groceries. I have migraines every day, varying in intensity from week to week. I can go weeks with being somewhat OK or weeks with not being able to do anything. No warnings, either way, it’s going to go.

What I don’t think most of my family and friends don’t understand is the economic impact of this disability and all the other health problems I have developed due to it.

As of 2025, I am now barely able to work.  I hurt my back, and it's been over a month with no relief.  I can do drop-in visits, but no walking.  I bought a condo this time last year, and since the move, I haven't received many requests through Rover to make more than about $50 per month, which has been stressful.

The impact on my independence

I have always been very independent, not because I want to, but it’s because I don’t know any other way. I don’t know how to ask for help without feeling guilty for intruding on other people’s time. Every time I ask for help, I feel the person I’m asking hesitating and not wanting to really-really help. They will sometimes, but the guilt eats me up; therefore, I don't want to impede them, and I don't ask for as much help as I may need due to the guilt.

The what-ifs

Yes, I would love to work and be able to support myself with my income. I was on schedule to do that and going to get my bachelor’s degree when I was hit for the first time with my daily migraines. I do think of where I could be if I weren’t sidelined by them. My income would be very much enough to support the lifestyle I wanted. I might have bought my own home by now, or gotten a boyfriend, or married even…the possibilities are hard to think about, so mostly I push them aside because thinking about what could have been doesn’t help.

It took 20 years of going to various doctors after doctor to first get diagnosed, then being told by many different specialists after they tried everything in their arsenal to get approved for disability. My case ended up in a federal court after being denied three times. You see, I don’t LOOK disabled.

I have to give up on specialists every now and again because I have tired everything and when I do all I hear is “Don’t give up”, and I have to explain why I have and that it may take a year or more for me to try again with any new treatments that have come out. The disappointment is devastating to me, mentally and physically draining. And it’s not just the disappointment from not getting any help or relief from the doctors, it’s the disappointment I feel from family and friends that “I’m just not trying”.

But now not only can I not work physically, but it has caused mental impairments that make me forget things quickly, unable to retain things, easily confused, and make a lot of simple mistakes (that if I were like I was before, I wouldn’t have missed).

Back to the topic of “Migraines and Social Life”

I attended a funeral for one of my best friends’ mother last week. Thankfully, I could see a bit better to drive. She lives about an hour away from me. I grew up with her, we have been friends for over 40 years,  I thought of her parents as a sort of second family.

The day of the service comes, and all I want to do is go to bed!!! I drive down, go to the service, and then I go to the after the get-together. I enjoyed myself at the time and am proud of myself for going. But then comes the time I have to drive home and take care of my dog. Ugh, exhausting. Then it takes about two days after that to recover enough to do most things.

My boring "life"

The only social life I have now is with my dogs.  I have been burned by "people" so much it has gotten to I just do not want to meet new people.  It's draining.  I tend to be happier with just me and my animals.  If I need to have social interaction, I can go out shopping or something.

I wish more people understood the economic impact of having migraines and being unable to work, and having to live off of what disability provides. It’s the stupid day-to-day things that get expensive.

Also, boredom. What do I do with myself when I am not lying down? There is only so much TV and reading that interests me. I am not crafty and have no time-consuming, mindless hobbies to keep me busy.

Toilet paper, tissues, clothes, gas, and sometimes groceries – those are my challenging ones now. I can’t even think about what it would cost to go on a “vacation” for me.

My "boring life" has turned into the life I want. I chose this because the general public is rude and disrespectful, and I want my peace! 

Oliver & Claire

Snickers & Jazz